【大選精彩】擺脫總統大選困境的十大傻招
2000年12月13日發表
【人民報13日訊】大紀元新聞雖已盡力而爲編譯給大家,但爲免失去原有神韻,特附上英文原稿,供讀者娛樂。萊特曼(David Letterman)是全美最受愛戴的電視清談節目主持人之一,目前效力哥倫比亞廣播公司(CBS)。他的節目中有個固定的傳統欄目「最佳十句」(Top Ten List),由觀衆按他出的不同主題自行投稿,極盡調侃之能事。 本週一的最新主題是「擺脫總統大選困境的十大笨建議」,顧名思義,顯然與大選目前的鬧劇有關。 主題:解決總統大選現狀的十大傻招 10.趕緊找出一位叫姓「戈爾」名「喬治」的傢伙,他才是真命天子! 9.兩個人分別當總統,統治投票選他們的子民; 8.從墳墓中請出已經過世的幽默大師迪士尼,讓他來投下決定性一票; 7.別在黃金劇場突然插播「大選快報」,我才不管結果如何; 6.讓他們換一個佛羅里達州的經典節目:泳衣比賽! 5.讓棕櫚灘的各位老兄們排隊跳康加舞(雖然於事無補,但也精彩得多!) 4.哪位大選直播的主持人堅持到最後,就讓他隨便挑一個總統吧。 3.馬上訂一個投票新規則:誰在選票上打兩個孔,票站馬上爆炸! 2.讓我弟弟傑-布什決定吧! 1.別逗了,幹嘛要結束呢?!這不挺精彩的麼?! Top Ten Dumb Guys Ways To Solve Presidential Election Confusion 10.Find some guy named George W. Gore. Make him President 9.Each can be president of the people who voted for them 8.Thaw out Walt Disney, let him cast the deciding vote 7.I don%%$t care how things get solved; just don%%$t run any special reports during $$%Becker$$% 6.Do what they do in other important contests in Florida: swimsuit competition 5.Form Conga line with everyone in Palm Beach (won%%$t solve a thing, but boy are they fun) 4.Whichever news anchor can stay awake the longest gets to pick 3.New rule: You punch 2 holes, voting booth explodes 2.Let my brother Jeb decide 1.Solve it? Are you nuts? This is great! 轉自大紀元(http://renminbao.com)
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